Bandits In A Box

*finally publishing a draft from 2012. Apologies for the format...need to adjust settings


It's 11:30at night and I'm sound asleep, snoring (and drooling on my pillow, I'm sure) when I hear a light rapping on my bedroom door. 







 "Mom.." "Mom.." "Momma" .. "Mommy"... "Ma"... 





"WHAT" I hiss, trying to keep from waking my husband, Jim. 




"There's something stuck in the storage box outside" he whispers...

 (I roll over)

"Something BIG!" he says (I pull the pillow over my face)


"Something ALIVE!"


Reluctantly, I wake up Jim who goes outside with Justin, to investigate. Jim has collected my broom and dustpan from the kitchen, and Justin is armed with a snow shovel  (we live in Southern California...at a golf course resort...why we have a snow shovel, I dunno). I watch from the doorway of our 5th wheel.

By the light of the golf cart headlights, Jim slowly and carefully opens the lid to to the large storage box to find not one, but two raccoons delighting themselves in a brand new bag of dog food! 



Just then, Justin shouts at him to look at the tree, where at least three more sets of eyes are staring at us from the darkness !!! Full-on panic ensues... Jim and I are running all around our little plot of land, in our underwear, trying to look at the raccoons ... getting spooked and running inside, then back out, shoving past each other to retreat once again.

Justin is certain they are going to gnaw our faces off and repeatedly suggests we place a call to security. And  then, as if on cue, security drives by and we alert them (arms flailing and muffled screams) that we are under attack...

 The security guard takes the broom from Jim, opens the lid to the box, and shoos the two bandits off like they were little more than harmless kittens,  He looks at us like we're a bunch of ninnies and suggests we go back to bed and stop causing such a ruckus.  ( us...)  !!! 

I hear those raccoons outside as I type this... they are plotting... If you don't hear from me tomorrow, please call animal control to come rescue us.

Full disclosure:will add photo later, once I learn how to navigate this new tablet...  these are not the raccoons in our tree... just used a pic I found... but this is exactly what we're dealing with here)... LOL